A few more rules of the road....

Just got back from Brighton. Fantastic! Stayed in this kooky hotel right on the sea front which was really nice despite a shaky start. Went with OneEye for a couple of nights and we had an awesome time. But once again it seems that the rudeness and ignorance follow me everywhere. I have three little stories from my trip which will be followed by three new rules to add to our list from Halloween.

1.I was patiently waiting in a really long queue at WH Smith in Victoria Station. I had completed the obstacle course of the little snake of barriers they put up at high traffic shops to control the flow of the line-up. I had resisted the impulse purchases like I was a hurdler, just skimming past every one. I had even had time to work out the probability of which of the sad, grey cashiers I would get by assessing what each of the other people in the line ahead of me had in their hands and how "on the ball" each of the , not very "on the ball " the blue- smocked employees actually were. I was on the home straight with half a a lap to go.

I then noticed an aged gentleman was standing by the exit of the "queue snake". I knew it was the exit because it was clearly marked "Exit Here". I presume he must have seen it because he was, of course standing much closer to the sign. Had he missed the sign another clue would have been the enormous line of people, some of them facing east and some of them facing west. Lined up, herded if you will through the difficult task of forming an orderly line. Also like on a highway or main road there are early warning sign before serious changes ahead. Another sign I had passed earlier had said "Please Pay Here" with a large arrow pointing diagonally downwards to avoid any confusion of which direction your feet should take you.

The man was not ill, infirm or senile as I could see with the naked eye. He did not seem confused or befuddled. He stood erect, his eyes were sharp and bright and he was alert. I looked about my fellow "queue-ers" and could see clear annoyance. Because this man was clearly trying to butt in and catch the eye of a cashier and be called forwards. He was very close to achieving this until I spoke up.

"Excuse me" said I not forcefully but clearly. Though everyone within a few meters of me heard it, to my surprise the man did not. I tried again as the man stepped forwards to the cashier. "Excuse me sir!" I admit I raised my voice slightly but only because he had ignored my first call. He looked over at me and I said "There are people here who have lined up for quite a long time here and I think you should join the queue like all of us have had to do"

I kind of liked it when he flushed red. But not too much. I got a couple of English High Fives from people around me (a nod and a smile) and the gentleman moved to the back of the line.

So,

Rule 1. Don't push in line unless it's an emergency (see below) and if somebody does speak up about it.

(Emergencies include going to pee yourself, injury of fear of injury or death)

(Notable exception: Petrol Station. When you have put in exactly £20.00 in the tank and other are paying by credit card it is acceptable to say to the cashier say "Pump 6" and lay the note in front of him and escape guilt free)